12 days old

My baby girls are still in preemie jail (NICU). I like to call it that because it doesnt seem so grim to me. I like to incorporate a little humor into everything. Keeps me young. The girls are doing really well. They only needed to keep there temperature, pass the carseat test and get rid of that jaundice. They did all of that. They were scheduled to come home yesterday, which was Friday but they called Thursday and said that the jaundice was back and that we couldnt bring them home. I was so dissappointed, I cried. So back under the Billi Lights they went. Since going back in the incubator under the lights would make the babies confused about how to keep their temperature, they have them laying on top of this thing called a billi-blanket. It goes on their backs against the bare skin. Well Londons levels went down but Sydneys didnt. So they had to put Sydney back in the incubator. Thats a setback because now she might be all screwed up temperature wise when they finally take her out, which makes for a longer stay. This NICU stay is starting to become a rollercoaster ride. I am happy that they dont have any ''real'' preemie problems. I come down here and sit all day. Babe goes to work so I spend alot of the time here alone but he comes after he gets off, then we go home. This has been a very humbling experience. Some of these parents didnt get the chance to sit because their babies died. As I sit here in the Nicu blogging their is a family next to me with ''The Priest". The staff just told them their baby isnt going to make it. That could have so easily been me. London wasnt breathing on her own when she came out and needed a ventilator, but she pulled through, thank God.

I want my babies to come home but for selfish reasons. I know and understand that they are in the best place for them right now. Patience is a virtue.