The Inside of 30 weeks

I dont know how I feel this week, I guess I feel relatively the same. I went in for my ultrasound today the girls are growing and sharing. I wound up in Labor and Delivery because I have been getting some pretty bad contractions today and I was ''squirting liquid'', I know it sounds gross. They also gave me a FFN (fetal fibronectin test). It supposedly predicts preterm labor, mines was positive. These little girls are already coming early(34 weeks) so they need to behave their bad butts until then. They told me if the contractions come closer together to come back. Yeah whatever thats why my 3rd boy was almost born in the toilet, because I waited. I swear I am not going back to L&D until June __, 2010. They are not going to have me sitting there for 4 hours just to send me home. I was worried about the girls being preemies but the midwife was going on and on about how they have a state of the art NICU. She bragged so much I have no choice but to believe her....LOL I just want my girls to be okay. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in the operating room in June. Im so anxious, my body is tired and I swear I cant stretch anymore, it hurts when they move, Im irritable as hell amongst other things. Then once I deliver them it will be a whole new set of worries. Thats about it for this week....contractions are starting up again, Im going to try and get some rest. **yawn**

Last Days at 29 weeks

I went to my appts for the week. I was shocked to find out that they have scheduled my c-section for 4 1/2 weeks from now. I was totally not expecting that. I didnt think I would be having them till atleast the middle of July, but they will be here in June. Im scared. I am not ready and I am worried about the c-section. I am too the point where I will be glad when this is over. Its beginning to be a bit much. They will only be 34 weeks then so they may not be able to come home right away because they might have to stay in the NICU for awhile so I guess I better brush up on my Nicu terminology and information just in case. I will start getting steriod shots soon to help mature their lungs faster. Research shows that black female preemies do better in Nicu anyway. I thought 34 weeks was too early but according to the specialist, 34 weeks is the ideal time to deliver to avoid any possible ''devastation''...cord accidents, things like that. He said they recently changed the protocols for this type of twin. Why risk it? Its better to be safe than sorry, so I agree with him. The Dr's at Mercy have been doing a really good job monitoring this pregnancy. But that doesnt stop me from worrying. The girls are 3lbs and some ounces a piece so hopefully they will be atleast 5 lbs by their birthday. I pray I make it through the next few weeks without having a panic/anxiety attack. These little girls are coming whether Im ready or not. Another thing is I was asking my Dr if my baby A and Baby b would be lettered the same when they come out, he tells me no because an ultrasound is flat and that it looks totally different when they go inside of you. So London and Sydney may be mixed up...that is not something you tell a person that has the issues that I have. I can see it now for the rest of my life I would be thinking that London is actually Sydney and vice versa. He said what I can do is ask the ultrasound tech to get the most accurate weight possible at my last ultrasound and then match them up when the babies are born or maybe we can tell by their positions, I dont know. I am crazy, I know because I have never heard any other twin mothers say anything about this....but I just cant help it.


Princess London Earlene & Princess Sydney Darlene coming June__,2010
**the day is top secret**

29 weeks!!!!

My belly button is officially gone, flat and non- existent and look at those stretch marks, my tummy is going to be very hideous but it will all be worth it. I have been researching tummy tucks for afterwards but Babe keeps saying Im going to end up like Kanye Wests mother. I suffer from anxiety so thats all I can think about is dieing while Im getting it done so we'll have to see about that tummy tuck. He is so ignorant. Thanx Babe!!!
I still cant believe its 2 babies in there. I hope they are comfortable.

The mask of pregnancy in all its glory.....I do not look like myself.

I am getting so close but still so far away. I feel pretty good, still tired and feel huge but overall I feel pretty good. I am getting so excited. I cant wait to see my babies. I get my c-section date Wednesday....Atleast that way I wil have something to look forward to. My baby shower was this past weekend. I am so grateful for my family and friends. I have alot of diapers and wipes. Babe was really happy about that. I dont have to buy anything else, I have everything I need for them. I had a really good time and I enjoyed being in the company of my family and friends. Not to mention the food was delicious. The cake was so pretty I didnt even want to cut it. I cracked and took a few pictures, I have the mask of pregnancy and I dont like taking pictures right now.

29 weeks feels good, tired but good. I have had no complications so far and hopefully none will arise. Today is Tuesaday, I find out the Girls Birthday tomorrow and I get to see them again but I just remembered I have to take that God forsaken glucose test tomorrow....gross. I am rally not looking forward to this, I hope I pass because I wont survive if I take the 3 hour test, I cant not eat for that long. Thats all for today, gotta go. Peace :-)

Last day at 28 weeks!!!

When I got to the specialist this morning he wasnt there...He wasnt coming in till 1pm, its coolt though cause they compensated us with free parking and free lunch....free sounds good to me. So I go back at 1 p.m. and they re-checked everything. The doctor said everything was perfect. She said on my other films it looked like the blood vessels in the cords got interconnected. But after taking a second look things were fine. They are both head down so bad Sydney is a little more restricted, they got a really good 3d picture of her today. She has some fat cheeks like her Mommy. They didnt really take any pictures of London, I have so many of her she is so well behaved. I dont know but I get the weird feeling that they are fraternal, they seem to be looking different these days, but the doctors are so sure that they are identical. We shall see. I have had alot of pressure abd Braxton Hicks today, it might be because they are both head down and all of that weight is on my pelvis. Well the babyshower is Sunday and my sister(Aunt Rell) and family worked really hard on it. Im glad its Sunday though because I am really really tired. I often dont think people really understand how tired my body is. I am pushing myself to the limit just to do everyday things. Thats my sweet baby Sydney to the right. Londons is under another post. Well we made it to 28 weeks. We will be 29 weeks tomorrow. # more weeks and we wil be at our next goal 32 weeks YAYYY!!!!! I have an appointment Wednesday with my regular OB and thats when we will schedule the C-section. Things are moving right on along. Im so thankful.

28 weeks-4th Day

Well just when I thought everything was going good, they call me with some bad news. The specialist called and said that he was reviewing my films again and that one of the girls blood flow was faster than the other. That is not normal...it is a symptom of twin to twin transfusion syndrome. I have to go back in Friday so he can take another look and double check. I hope this appointment isnt going to confirm my worst fears. I cant lie, I am scared shitless, but I am grateful. When I first found out what type of twins I was carrying, I prayed everyday that I would make it to the point of good viability for my babies, and that was 28 weeks...I made it and I am so thankful because if it is something wrong they have a good chance of surviving if they have to deliver them. They will be really small but they have a 90% chance of survival. I knew that there was a possibility that I might have to walk down this road and I have accepted it. But that doesnt mean that I am ready. I cant do anything until Friday, I am just hoping that maybe it was screwed up because Sydney wouldnt keep her bad butt still. I love them and I cant wait to see them, but I would much rather wait 8 more weeks. Its just to early. I made it to 28 weeks, the next goal was set for week 32, Lets hope and pray I make it. Its Wednesday night, I will update you all Friday afternoon.

Its gonna be a long Thursday........

28 weeks-doppler study

I went in for my doppler study today and they said the girls were fine. As usual Baby B--> Sydney was extremely uncooperative. They studied London's bladder, kidneys, brain and bloodflow and they were done in about 20 minutes. It took them about an hour to get done with Sydney. I think she is going to be my wild child. London had the membrane that is separating them stretched across her face. She looked like a bank robber with a stocking cap on her face...Sydney had one of her legs bent over her head, I dont know what the hell she was doing. The ultrasound tech is always amazed at what positions Sydney gets herself into. I swear this pregnancy is an emotional rollercoaster, but I love these little girls. 8 more weeks and they will be here. I have 2 pictures but they are not too good. The bigger they get, the more difficult it gets to take there pictures. Now I go for the doppler studies every week. I might get a room down there because pretty soon I will be going 4 times a week. See you guys in week 29.

28 Weeks!!!!!!

Its another one of those days, Shit on Shirnell day. Im sorry but thats how I feel. I was so sick last nite. I was vomiting all night. I was scared this morning because I didnt fell the girls moving. The way I was throwing up, I thought it may have been something wrong. I drank a whole bunch of water and that got them moving. They were probably dehydrated. I have a appt with the specialist tomorrow, I go 2x's a week now. They have to keep checking their bladders and kidneys to make sure they have equal amounts of fluid. They say it can happen very rapidly at this point, Im praying that it doesnt but if it does they are at the point where if they had to be delivered, they would have a very good chance of survival. They would be small but they would survive. Im just hoping it doesnt happen. I have to go to the DR alot now...but atleast they have the situation under control, that makes me feel really good and confident that things will go well.

I went to my favorite store Walmart and got the girls 2 more dressers and some more hangers. They have accumalated so much stuff that I have been evicted from my dresser and most of my closet. And I still didnt have my baby shower yet. So hopefully with the dressers I can free up some more space.

My thoughts on pregnancy this week...hmmm Im tired. I cant fit any of my maternity clothes anymore. Babe calls me Pooh or either he looks at me and says ''oh bother'' ahahahaha. I dont know its like maternity shirts get wider, when they need to make them get longer. Somebody should really come up with maternity twin wear. Im a hormonal wreck and I just wish people would leave me the hell alone. I just feel so aggitated, like I cant deal with things right now. I wake up everyday with swollen hands and feet. I walk like a duck because the pressure from Londons head is very heavy and painful. Sydney is up in my ribs. I swear there is no space left in my torso to carry them. Im stretched thin here and it is very uncomfortable. Im short with my kids...I really am tired of being pregnant...I am 28 weeks and my belly is measuring 39 WEEKS!!! Crazy huh??? They want to do the c-section before 37 weeks, thats anytime between the 4th and 10th of July, if I make it that far. I am so afraid of the surgery but they are going to schedule my appt for it when I go back to my regular OB on May 19th...I cant wait...Or maybe Im just in a really bad mood today...I'll be back for an update tomorrow after I see the specialist, hopefully things are still going well.

Belly Pics 27 weeks

Yes the belly is ruined, its the size of someone who is due anyday....and I still have 9 weeks to go.

27 weeks: 2 appts today

Sydney faking sleep!!!!---------------->>

London with her hand in her face!!!

Both appts went really well today. The girls are

still sharing. Ms. London is 2 lbs 2 oz and Ms. Sydney is 2lbs 5 oz. They are getting so big and they have equal blood flow. They scared me a little because after I was done with the ultrasound, dressed and everything, Dr. Atlas came in with 2 other doctors with him. But he reassured me that my type of twin was very rare and that they just wanted to witness my care and get some practice, you know they just wanted to be nosey and be a part of something to gain the experience which is fine with me. I have always been pro education. I finally cleared up my vaginal or ceserean delivery dilemma. Dr. Atlas said that this pregnancy will not go past 37 weeks because after then the mortality rate in utero sky rockets. He also said there were too many risks involved with a vaginal and that I need to get a ceserean. So Im gonna get gutted like a pig and I am scared. Im not really close with anyone that has had a ceserean. Im mainly scared about the recovery.

I also saw my regular OB today, Dr Julian, I dont think he was really aware of what we were dealing with as far as this type of twin. I told him what Dr. Atlas said. He said that was fine that we will deliver before 37 weeks. He also said that when I come back to see him on the 19th that we will schedule my c-section then. Im excited 37 weeks is only 9 weeks from now Im going to try to get it done between the 11th and the 17th of July, me and Babes anniversary is on the 19th of July and we kind of want to keep that day to ourselves. But I will be 37 weeks before then.

My next dilemma is who will be at the hospital when I deliver. Its really sort of a personal time because I wont be able to see them until I wake up and I want to see my babies first. That being said it will probaby just be me and Babe and then we will accomodate accordingly. That might not sit well with some people but who cares they are my babies and I want to see them first. So its decided its just gonna be me and Babe.

Anyway the babies were totally uncoooperative today especially Baby B . They were both head down at my last ultrasound but now Ms Sydney has decided to turn herself side ways so they are in the shape of a ''T'' now. They have no idea how she managed to do that with so little space but she did it....little escape artist. London was okay just squirmy but her head is in my pelvis, that explains all the pressure on my ''bottom parts''. She still has that white spot on her heart they said it will probably never go away but not to worry about it. We got some okay pictures, its just no space in there. The 3d pics look so-so, I guess I can post them, my mother said that they have faces only a mother can love hahahaha she is so crazy. Im excited but Im not out od the water yet, things can still go south at the drop of a dime, so Im still a little stressed. Now I have to go to the Dr and specialist every week. Atleast I got something to look forward to every week. Pretty soon I will have to go in 2x's a week for non-stress test. Mercy is really on top of this. I will just feel so much better when they are in my arms. I'll see them soon enough.