Well I got my steroid shots this past Wednesday and Thursday. I was so pissed because we had to pay out of pocket for the shots because the dumb ass insurance company wouldnt. I went home and called their butts and layed them out, now they want to reimburse me. Anyway whatever the heck is int that steroid shot burns like hell. I wanted to cry but my 2 year old kept saying''Mommy be brave'' and I didnt want to look like a wuss in front of my baby. But it really does sting when they inject the steroid. Now I see why people get cortisteroid shots for pain. My entire pregnancy my hips and pubic bone have been huting so bad to the point that it was hard to walk, get in and out of bed, and get in and out of the van. It seems like since I got the steriods it doesnt hurt anymore, even Babe says I have been moving faster these days. My pelvis isnt clicking or cracking or anything. I dont care why it stopped, Im just enjoying it until the pain comes back.
I have been so busy with Dr's appts lately 4x's a week. They are really monitoring these twins good. I have 2 more weeks until my baby girls will be here. I still have to sit down and meet with the NICU team and Dr's. The girls will be 34 weekers and may have to stay in the NICU for a week or two. Im cool with that. My Dr's are confident and that makes me trust them and their judgement even more. I am just worried about my pending c-section. I am so afraid of complications and the recovery afterwards. How will I take care of my other children, Babe cant do everything, he still has to work? And if the girls have to stay in the NICU, how will I visit them, take care of myself and the other kids and my husband? Its just that when you are used to being a ''superwoman'' its hard to let go. Alot of people say it isnt that bad but you never know. Time is going so fast. I am so intimidated by the thought of having 2 infants, breastfeeding and handling 5 little ones. I wont lie Im scared. My biggest fear is that I will be inadequate.
Sometimes I look at my tummy and I cant believe that these 2 little girls have stuck around this long. It seems so unreal. I cant believe there are babies in there. I wont believe it until I see it. I often think back to when I first started this blog, how worried and afraid I was. I still am. And plus once they are born it will be a whole new set of worries. I feel like Im ready but I dont know. I guess I better get ready.
My Dear, Dear Nellie,
ReplyDeleteNo need to worry. The One that created you and me does not burden anyone beyond their scope. Even if its a new experience, you have been given the faculties to adapt and be successful.
You must remember; there was a great woman that showed strength and perserverence through major hardships. She shouldered her burden; giving others (like me) the strength to handle it too. We saw her at her strongest, caring for 5 kids and working; always making thngs fit...so much so that those children had no idea at that time how difficult things were for her. That great women is Earlene Helen Cheek...you grandmother.
You my dear are from that same stock..Strength of mind; of character; of womanhood! The road you are about to travel may seem too dificult...but know for a surety; YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
Love you as my still little smiling baby,
Daddy